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mr feeny's house of snark

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(no subject) [Dec. 31st, 2005|11:13 pm]
mr feeny's house of snark
[Current Mood |bitchy<----angerage]

I"m currently on prescription drugs, so forgive if this comes off as rambling and mumbled.

Dear girl in ER a cubicle away from mine:

What the fuck is wrong with you? Your daughter has an extremely rapid heartrate and you're going to sign her out of the HOSPITAL because you're getting tired? Excuse me? I really don't think your comfort really matters there, your DAUGHTER has an elevated heartrate. I heard the nurses telling you that. They said that she could end up having a heart attack! You dumb bitch! I don't give a fuck that it takes you 4 hours to drive back to Gardnerville (which is BULLSHIT, you cunt! I spent half my life in that town and it's at most a 45 minute drive, even with the flooding!!) How about you take your daughter's health in to concideration?

If your child dies because of your selfishness, it will be entirely your fault. And I hope the guilt will eat away at your fucking soul, if you happen to have an ounce of one left.

the very pained woman sitting in the next cube waiting for some relief from her pain.

(the relief came in the form of 2 shots in my ass, by the way, so while I'm doped up but good now, fucking hell that made my anger worse. Plus, they hurt!)
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Warren Ellis imitators... [Dec. 31st, 2005|04:55 am]
mr feeny's house of snark
[Current Mood |awakeawake]
[Current Music |Bound Stems- Wake Up Ma and Pa]

Warren Ellis himself can be at times, witty, amusing, intellectual, introspective, self aware...

and once in a while a snarkish asshole. It's part of the online persona he's created. He knows his fans expect it so he feeds it to them. Some enjoy it... others find it reptitive.

I find BAD SIGNAL (referred to at the V as DAD SIGNAL) to be insightful, He'll examine trends and industrie statistics.

His fan imitators... not so much.

Being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole isn't what Ellis is about. The worse offense? Pretending to examine the industry as though you're an expert and making that the crux of your LJ, blog or general comic discussions.

I look back at posts I had made before I lucked out and landed my cool little gig and realize that I knew JACK SHIT.

I'm learning day by day from the people I work with... people pretending that they know what comics need and doing the Ellis imitation are just wasting air.
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(no subject) [Dec. 23rd, 2005|10:19 pm]
mr feeny's house of snark
This is a rant in which I portray the object of my hate in it's perspective. In this case; a rich, white suburbanite teen:

Hi, I'm 17-years-old. A lot of people would say I'm "inexperienced" 'cause I never went out of the state and still live at my parents house, but they don't know shit! Y'see, I'm smart. Not book smart - that's for fucking queers and wimps. Nah, I'm too smart for school. So smart, in fact, I only get C's and D's, but still pass each grade because I'm a jock and the public school system sucks.

My dad tells me a lot of stuff, like how immigrants are taking our jobs. I know he's right, because he makes tens of thousands of dollars a month, but never went to college - he's a professional ass-kisser in his company. Anyway, he tells me this and I know he's right. I mean, I know he's right because I never had a job. I'd get one, but like, the Mexican kid at my school named Pedro got a part-time job at McDonald's. I never actually wanted to get the position. I mean, fuck it, I already get an $150 allowance a week, so it's not like I need the money. Still that beaner took a job from a hard-working kid like me!

He also told me the liberals are trying to take his money away. So, instead of having to buy that new Hummer that gets half a mile to the gallon, he has to buy that big screen TV to replace the one we already have. My friend in college told me my dad's full of it, because he's rich. Yeah, like, rich people are...uh...people, too! They may get tax breaks from the government, but we get money taken away from us just like poor people, except we need it more! Really, I need to get that new stereo system in my car. If I don't, how can I share my love of 50 Cent to my neighborhood?

Seriously, 50 Cent is the next fucking Mozart (whoever he was, my music teacher keeps mentioning him). He knows about what shit is like on the street, yo! What's even more amazing is how he whored himself out to not only make a movie that glorfies his former lifestyle in a positive manner. Yeah, I know he was a drug dealer and shit, but he made inspiring music that speaks the truth. Especially about women, they all ho's.

Like, this one time, I asked this girl out. I never actually talked to her before, but I asked her is she wanted to come to my place and fuck like rabbits. She slapped me - what a bitch! She ended up going out with this other guy, who I know is a complete faggot 'cause he's in all the school plays. Ha ha! She's dating a faggot!

Gay people scare me, too. I don't want no guy coming up from behind me and touching my shit. It's okay when my teammate Ritchie slaps my ass during practice, but those gay pieces of shit need to stay the fuck away. Besides, I hear all those priests that molest children are gay, too. Again, my friend in college had to point out most child molesters are actually straight. Seriously, that fucking egghead needs to shut up every once n' a while.

Really, just 'cause he's going to college he thinks he knows more than me. That asshole hasn't even lost his virginity yet 'cause he's concentrating so much on school (me, I lost mine to some chick who got drunk and passed out on my friend's couch. That was so awesome!). He also says he has severe depression. Wah, wah, wah! Just 'cause his mom died doesn't mean he's depressed, he can fucking snap out of it anytime he wants to. Besides, like Tom Cruise says, psychology is bullshit. I mean, he'd know - he's a fucking successful actor! My friend says that Cruise believe in something called Thetans and belongs to a cult, but like all fucking liberals, he's just basing that on our horribly bias liberal media (speaking of which, I need to read my dad's Ann Coulter books, listen to some Rush Limbaugh, and watch The O'Reily Factor on FOX).

Besides, unlike him, I've been involved in some heavy political shit. Like, a few days ago, I wore this button that says "ABORTION IS MURDER" and walked around school with it on. This one kid came up and asked me why I believed that, and I said it's killing babies, and he asked how I knew it was actually killing a baby as opposed to, I don't know, cells or some shit. I kept telling him that if a chick's pregnant, it's a baby and she has to have it. The kid got pissed and then talked about how is sister died because she decided to have the kid, 'cause her parents would disown her because they were pro-lifers. Seriously, what a whiny little bitch.

So, yeah, you know I'm right. If you disagree, you're an asshole, dig?
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If one more fucking person.... [Dec. 23rd, 2005|11:57 am]
mr feeny's house of snark

[Current Mood |cheerfulMmmm... comfy new chair]
[Current Music |Trans Siberian Orchestra - Wizards In Winter]

...tells me that smoking is bad for my health, I am gonna tell them that second hand smoke is worse, so piss the fuck off!!

...tells me that I get piercings and tattoos because I am "rebelling" and "I'll regret it," I'm gonna tell them that my body is a canvas and what I am doing is creating art. Then I will "rebel" my size thirteen boot up their ass (I wont regret it).

...asks me if my New Beetle is my wife's car, I will politely point out the skull-covered license plate holders and her garter on the rear-view mirror (the black rose in the bud vase could go either way) and then politely run them over.

...ignores the "NO SOLICITORS" sign next to the doorbell and tries to sell me something, I am going to hold up a "Tresspassers Will Be Shot" sign and my paintball gun and riddle them full paint splatters. Try selling a vacuum to my neighbor looking like that, bitch.

...tells me that I'm too old for video games, I'll show them how much money I will earn by making video games in a few years. I will of course being laughing maniacally as they run away crying.

...tries to convert me or otherwise shove their religious views down my throat, I'm gonna give them my spare copy of the Satanic Bible and tell them to come back after they have finished reading it. If they wont take the time to learn about my spirituality, then I wont bother with theirs.

...asks why the Imperial March is coming out of my pocket, I'll tell them that everyone needs a theme song.
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A rant [Dec. 23rd, 2005|12:04 am]
mr feeny's house of snark

There is more to this universe than can be defined by science. It is an impossible thing to claim that our surroundings, ourselves, can be mapped out with mathematics and science, with numbers. Who are these modern contemporaries, praising the assumptions that the workings of a human soul can be brought down to the mere bubblings of chemicals? Have we accepted that our emotions are no more than the interaction of chemical A with chemical B? Macro evolutionist priests believe that everything was created from chaos. I don't know about you, but from a completely objective point of view, that is as unlikely a story as some atheists would see the bible's account of how our cosmos was created. I find myself disgusted as my existence is made baser and baser by those who would constantly dehumanize my existence. Every day we as a race are deemed more like a common animal than someone who is above them. I vehemently disagree with such ludicrous notions of self-debasement. Does our faculty of reason mean nothing? Is compassion, love, hatred, jealousy, and the multitude of other emotions lost to these "scientists" who would ignore what is already in their mind to pursue some higher "truth" that screams utter contradiction to their inherent nature? I fear the day when science renders us as nothing more than automatons.
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The worst kinds of people are [Dec. 17th, 2005|02:18 am]
mr feeny's house of snark
[Current Music |frou frou - shh]

the people who believe the only serious problems are their own.
The people who are constantly in need of assistance, only to turn their backs on you when it's your turn for needing a sympathetic ear.
Are they selfish, stupid, oblivious?
How can one meander through life taking and taking and never giving?

I try to have faith in people. I try to trust, I try to do good to people. And it seems like every day somebody reminds me of why I was so negative and untrustworthy in the first place.
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Paris Hilton and Rich People [Dec. 14th, 2005|10:44 pm]
mr feeny's house of snark
I want to bring up someone: Paris Hilton.

I think I've come to the conclusion that she stands for everything that I despise about this country. She's a rich, worthless, bimbo who happens to gain overnight popularity and fame for a sex tape. It also happens that she apparently inspires another generation of girls to starve themselves and look as about as anemic as she does.

I brought her up with my dad and he replied "well, she did put a lot of work into how she looks..."

Wha?! Huh?!

When has anyone on this planet been given any sort of fame for existing! She hasn't actually contributed anything to soceity and more than likely never will, but we're suppose to claim there's some validity in her claim to fame?

Okay, how about this: award anorexic women for making a positive imapact on today's youth. Yes, that's right, I said it. If Paris Hilton should be given credit for "looking good," why not take it a step further by claiming anorexia isn't a disease and anorexic women happen to put up a positive image for the women of America. Bravo!

I say this as a guy: I love women. If I was gay, I'm sure I'd still love 'em (not as much as my Nubian Prince, Taye Diggs...oh yeah). My point, though, is that I don't understand other guys' obssession with these skinny-as-a-twig, blonde, overly-boxom body types. Of course, the same guys that usually obssess over this type of body also happen to be 5'8", 280 pounds, and a beer belly to match. God forbid they lose weight and stop drinking swill like Miller for more than a minute. They expect their wives to look like a half-decent substitute for a Hooters girl, but how dare anyone would expect them to ever look good for their wives! Maybe instead of fantasizing over women who may as well likely be illustrations in an issue of Heavy Metal, maybe they can appareciate the fact most women, including their wives, look far more natural and better that way than any trumped-up, life-sized Barbie doll they cream their pants over night after night.

Speaking of Paris Hilton, I just plain don't like rich folk.

It amazes me in the US that we still love to glorify the top 1% of Americans as the "self-made man." It's quite ignorant, really.

Does an inheritance count as one being "self-made"? Did they actually work in order to get the inheritance, or did they just happen to have it fall into their lap via rich parents and/or relatives? If you answered the latter, you're right.

I could actually not give two shits about the rich being rich if it wasn't for:

1) The fact we glorify them on the basis that they're wealthy.

2) Are oftend excused on matters which, for most everyone else, would be unacceptable.

When we glorify the wealthy, it's insinuated they must "deserve" whatever they want. Not that they're children are smarter than any other from the middle or lower class, or that they actually have done something profound - they just apparently do. Criticizing them, you would be out to be a Commie. Never mind you believe in free trade and developing small businesses, you have to suck the perverbial cock of the Bourgeoisie like the rest of the unwashed masses.

Going back to Paris Hilton, I have to point out a hyprocricy within our society: if any woman happened to have done what Hilton had done, she'd be branded as a slut and whore and, if she happens to have children, an unfit mother. Not that some people haven't done that with Hilton, but she seems to have been given more praise for doing what she's done than anyone else on the planet. No one is arguing that she doesn't deserve the Hilton fortune after being banged on camera, they just gave in to The Simple Life and Burger King ads. Again, if someone else had done the same, they'd lose their job and would have a hard time finding another - probably their kids, too.

I'm sure the many things we'd terrorize any normal person for, like a woman getting an abortion or a man having sexual intercourse with another man, are all wiped under the carpet when it comes to some oil baron and his family. Hell, I'd even go as far as to say Dubya took one too many girls in a back alley after too much beer and cocaine at the local barn dance. If anyone happens to suggest any of this about them, it's lies, slander, and libel. Say it about anyone who isn't them, it's a crusade against immorality and godlessness. Not that any wealthy person actually believes in a strict moral code. If this were a different world, I'm sure they'd love hunting down peasents for shits and giggles. Of course, like Divine Right, we treat them like gods despite their constant oblviousness to any true sense of standards and decency (and no, the FCC doesn't count in either category.)

What a wondeful world, eh?
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Screw you, I like my Christmas tree!!!! [Dec. 10th, 2005|05:08 pm]
mr feeny's house of snark

[Current Mood |bitchybitchy]
[Current Music |Jane's Addiction - Been Caught Stealin]

I wanna preface this rant with a lil info: I am a devout (no jokes) Satanist. I do, however, totally dig Christian mythology.

That being said, this may come as quite a shocker:
PC Police, please leave Christmas the fuck alone!!! I mean it! I dont care if there is a manger in the mall or Christmas songs playing at all the stores. I DONT CARE! The country is like 80% Christians, so of course the corporations are gonna market to the masses, not the minorities. Oh no, someone wished a non-christian a Merry Christmas... whoop-de-fucking-doo! You wont melt, trust me. You wont "catch" a religion by touching greeting cards (you sure as hell cant catch merry-ness). Carry on being all grouchy and crap, protect your kids from the happy people, dont watch TV, complain about the malls and the roads and everything else, I dont care, just let other people have their damn fun. Drink some egg-nog you fuckers.

Oh, and for you killjoys that want everyone to stop spending during the holidays and blah blah blah, remember this: the only reason we have the USA is because we got pissed off at unfair taxes. So thank capitalism every time you rant about your "rights" being infringed on.

Even though I long since converted to paganism and later to Satanism, I still put up a tree and give gifts, because thats how I grew up doing it, and I enjoy it. The Christians ripped off the yule holiday from the pagans, and I am taking it right back.

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(no subject) [Dec. 10th, 2005|12:56 am]
mr feeny's house of snark
the end.
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friendly neighborhood maintaner post [Dec. 8th, 2005|09:03 am]
mr feeny's house of snark
[Current Mood |blankblank]
[Current Music |Finding Nemo]

hey.. thanks to the snarkilicious new members for joining. I'd like to give you all a warm welcome and a big ol hug.. but this is not the place for that.

So c'mon and get with the snark! Think of this as your open invitiation to bitch yer arse off, starting now, ok?

as of right now there's unmoderated posting for all current members, though any new members will be on probationary moderation. mostly because we can.


a little PS - you are free to advertize this community, but be aware that if someone joins because of that, you may be held responsible for them. It's like sponsoring a child, only not as expensive and a bit more work.
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